Thank you 2011…

• For showing me that dreams can come true... It may take a year or two or three, but you just need to persevere, hold on to them, and have faith.

• For showing me that once dreams come true, it’s not the end, but the beginning of another dream.

• For teaching me the power of staying in the present moment.

• For helping me realize that gratitude is the best prayer that can be said.
• For all the opportunities I got to get to know my family all over again.

• For the innumerable new friends I made, who continue to be part of my journey.

• For my old friends (thank God for them) who stayed my friends and make me who I am.

• For all the people who encouraged my new vocation, and continue to have so much faith in me.

• For showing me that, I don’t need to do anything or prove anything to anyone to be loved. I am loved just as I am.

• For helping me realize that I do have the courage to follow my passion.

• For the countless special moments shared with my two favourite boys!

As I go into 2012, do I have any hopes or dreams? Yes of course! But, funnily all that matters is today! This moment, that I am spending writing my first blog post of the year. This day, that I started with gratitude, greeting my loved ones, going for a walk, having my favourite breakfast, and writing my heart out. This day is all that matters.

And then, I realize, that’s what 2012 is going to be all about.
It’s about all the small, wonderful moments strung together one at a time.

Thank you 2012, you are already special to me today!

My first Prayatna......

Fresh from the Heal your Life Workshop in UK, after I got licensed as a Workshop Leader, I was back to my daily job. With regards to my workshops, I was taking my time to decide where and how I would do the first one. How would I start spreading this message? How would I share this wonderful philosophy with everyone?

I kept affirming for the right opportunities to start my workshop journey with. A deep longing had always been within me to work with kids. A conversation with a colleague Naresh at work ( also a junior from my MBA campus SIIB) led us talking about an NGO that he founded. Prayatna sponsors slum children around hinjewadi, Pune to go to English medium schools. After school, they come to the MBA campus, where MBA students take turns teaching subjects, and other developmental skills.

As I discussed the philosophy that I had learnt with Naresh, he invited me to spend an evening talking with these children on positive life skills. I was excited. What a way to begin my workshop journey. The icing on the cake was that I would be going back to my MBA campus as well as giving back to society.

It was a challenge for me to decide the structure of the course. After all, these are underprivileged children. They might be bombarded with many negative messages during the day? Could I really inspire them to think positive thoughts? Would I be able to drill within them the importance of our thoughts?

I decided to stick to 3 simple things which they could incorporate during their day.
As I reached campus, I became more and more confident. I had my team of core assistants with me; my mom and my son. It was wonderful to have my son be a part of this.

When we were waiting in the lobby, we saw some of the kids playing. They were running around, and having a great time. That’s when I felt relaxed. These children radiated positivity. It was going to be a wonderful experience.

And it truly was. We played passing the parcel and introduced each other. We discussed about their day, and how they could start it with positive thoughts. We decorated mirrors, and practiced saying “I love you, you are the best” looking at ourselves in the mirror. Some children did such a fabulous job, that they would put us adults to shame. And lastly, we made vision boards. Vision Boards are charts or collages of what their dreams were. They were encouraged to do it with no holds barred! And they did a fabulous job.

2 hours just flew by, and it was time to wind up. We did a quick re-cap, and ended with telling them the importance of gratitude before going to sleep. We need to be grateful for at least one thing before we sleep. It could be as simple as being grateful for food, air water, or being grateful for having two hands and two feet which are in perfect condition.

As we went around asking the children, “What would you be grateful for tonight?”, a petite 6 year old girl, with the kindest eyes raised her hand. Without saying a word, she smiled and just pointed in my direction.
To say that I was touched would be an understatement. That one moment is etched firmly in my mind, and I know will remain so. I have saved that moment in a safe place in my heart, and it will be reminder for me to keep spreading this message of love and light to everyone.

Thank you Team Prayatna, for an amazing experience, and Keep up the Good Work!

Through My Father's eyes....

When I slaved away in office, and reached home late at night,
I wondered how your day was, but could only see your closed eyes.

I watched your mother feed you each morsel everyday.
And smiled when you ran to me, as soon as it was time to play.

I know, I was not the one you shared your secrets with.
But I cherished every moment when you asked me,"How do i do this?"

I felt a pang when you told your mom, "I have found my man."
I hid my tears when you said, "And he is just like Dad."

I tell myself every now and then, the story of how you were born.
As I looked at myself through your eyes, I became a better man.

My God-Box

Last week, there was an issue that was bothering me. I had done everything in my control to take care of it. But there were so many factors I had no control over. Every night, as I would sleep, my mind would be beset with umpteen worries. I felt the burden of a million negative thoughts of how everything would go wrong. No matter how hard I tried, I could not focus on anything positive. I tried meditating, positive thinking, trying not to think, but nothing worked.

Then, I read about the God-box by Doreen Virtue on EarthAngelsIndia. What is a God-Box? Any box, where you put in your worries, wishes, help items to be taken care of by God. Immediately, I set about searching for a box, and found a beautiful one. I quickly made two chits, and wrote in a request to God entrusting my issue and worries to him.

As I went through this symbolic gesture of first making the God-box, then writing my request, and then placing it inside, I felt a positive rush. It was an amazing feeling, and I slept peacefully that night, and every night since. Is my issue resolved? No, it is a Work in progress, but I am happier knowing I have now entrusted it to God, and that things are taken care of.

I shared it with my parents and son, and they too had their wishes. My son, who had started his new school in Pune, tearfully told me how he missed his old friend Apurva. We quickly put in a wish for him to make new friends, and tears turned to laughter at the exciting prospect of making new friends.

Two days later, my son came home from school to tell me about 3 new friends he made, one of them being another Apurva. He beamed at me, and sneaked a look at the God-box as though he was now thinking of what he could put in it next!

Coincidence?Maybe. Maybe not.

Try making your own God-box at home, or any other symbolic gesture which helps you release your worries. And get ready to welcome the many happy co-incidences that follow!

Adventures of a Corporate RM

6 months ago, I started my new job as a Corporate Relationship Manager with a bank. I was excited to move up the ladder from an NBFC (Non Banking Financial Company) to a bank, from retail clients to corporate clients. Little did I know about the adventure that was to begin.
Looking back at these six months, I realize, I have spent more time in corporate offices than my own. I also realized the hard way that telling a receptionist proudly that you are from a bank is a great way to ensure you won’t move beyond the reception. And if your corporate is based in an I.T SEZ, then all the best!

In one of my first visits to a company located in an I.T SEZ, I was greeted with ”Bankers and Telecom personnel not allowed”. My mind flashed to that scene from “Mard” where a board said “Indians and Dogs not allowed”. In true angry young man style I retorted, “But I’m not those pesky people who want to sell credit cards!” When that didn’t work, I tried flashing my AVP card to no avail.
Let’s face it. I belonged to the respectable salary accounts team who will sell you salary accounts which will in turn enable those pesky people to sell you credit cards! Whew! That wouldn’t have worked if I had tried. Some frantic calls to the HR head who I was supposed to meet, and I was finally allowed. After that every time I went there, I picked a different company to say where I was from.

For the few places, where they didn’t frown on hearing “bank”, I was met with a disdainful look. “You want to meet Mr. XXX? Regarding???” Please note: The word “regarding” is said without a glance at you, and as though you are invisible. I learnt to look important, and say “She/he is expecting me. I have an appointment”

Once past these initial hurdles, comes the visitor’s register. The multiple fields need to be filled legibly at multiple entry points in the corporate. And when you are visiting 3-4 companies a day, it is the bane of your existence. And god help you, if you have someone else (Read: Bosses) with you. “No plus 1s in the register. Make separate entries please!”

And so, entry made, photo clicked, visitor tag collected. Where now? The visitor’s lounge beckons you. Juggling my bag, trying to put my company ID inside, getting out my visiting card holder out, I make my way inside only to hear a stern, “ Madam , please wear the visitors’ tag at all times!”

Once settled in the visitor’s lounge, an interminable wait awaits. You wonder, have they informed the person that I am here. You wonder, does the person remember that they have a meeting with me. And yes, sometimes you also have the good fortune of being in the visitor’s lounge at the very time the company is undergoing a fire drill.

Then comes the actual meeting. I have had meetings in the most cramped places with space for two chairs, as well as the biggest of boardrooms with me and the person sitting at opposite ends. I have had meetings in the reception area as well as meetings in the cafeteria with so much noise, I couldn’t hear myself. The variety of it never ceases to amaze me.

And then of course, the question of tea/coffee etc. Should you say yes, when offered? Or politely decline? After few days of having 5 cups of coffee a day, I decided to stick to water since it would have been too much to ask for green tea! I have had meetings where I was given coffee with cookies, and a promise to have their best masala chai next time.

So, at the end of six months, I ask myself; What have I learnt so far from this adventure? And the answers are already on this page. But if there’s one thing I have really learnt and love about this job is that it’s a great leveler. One day you are hobnobbing with the CFO/CEO/HR head, and the other day a co-ordinator won’t even take your call. One day you are shown the red carpet, and the other you spend 2 hours cooling your heels. And yet whoever you are meeting, irrespective of how long you have waited, you need to smile and do your thing. And such is life too!

So bring on more adventures! May the breed of us Corporate RMs flourish and conquer!

P.S: Watch out for my next adventure soon.

Life's lessons from Yoga!!

I first did yoga when I was in the 8th or 9th standard. I remember waking up early in the morning and going to a dark dingy building with my mom. I felt so bored by the slow motions of yoga coupled with my sleepiness, I lasted two days. As I grew older, I always connected with more upbeat routines such as the gym, aerobics, dance etc.

My tryst with fitness has always been episodic, and in bursts. However lately, I felt the need to embrace fitness as a lifestyle change and not with the goal of losing x kilos or y inches. As Rancho would say, chase excellence, and success will follow. So I decided to give yoga a chance again.

Sometimes, the universe is just waiting for you to make the right decision, and then everything just falls in place. I met many people in my building who told me about a yoga instructor who comes thrice a week, and I was set to attend.

It has been 5 days of yoga lessons, and every day is a new challenge for me. I admit, I am intimidated by yoga. The thought that my body is capable of bending so much scares me. Aren’t we all used to being rigid? And the competitive spirit within me sometimes beats me up, when I can’t do some things as well.

However, at the end of every session, I feel an odd sense of peace. I feel as though my body belongs to me. I feel centered, grounded, and ready to face the day.

Today as I was going through yet another challenging yoga session, I found myself thinking of the many life’s lessons one can learn from yoga. And, as I went through each pose/asana I kept getting more ideas. So, here goes the list….

Breathe: no matter how stressful the situation: As I struggle to lock my knee, and simultaneously touch my toe, I hear my instructor scream, “Breathe!” And I realize I am holding my breath and my body is stiff and constricted, and am unable to achieve anything. As I take a deep breath and relax, everything comes together, and Yes, I am actually touching my toe. It’s a reminder to me, that in stressful situations in life, all we need to do is breath, and it will all come together. The next time, I have to face a tough client or a challenge at work, I know what to do!

Perseverance: It’s so difficult to stick to something, when you are not really good at it. But actually that’s the time when you need to stick the most. I couldn’t even touch my toe on the first day, but at the end of the 5th day, I can. One month at this, and who knows what more I could achieve. In life, we need to persevere, and remind ourselves that we are getting better every single day. We may not sometimes see visible results, but one day, that magic moment will come, when we achieve our goal with ease.

Flexibility: Yoga is all about being flexible. Our bodies were born that way. My son can bend his body so easily like all children. No wonder that children adjust to circumstances easier than others. In life, we stay rigid in so many of our beliefs, that we may miss out on so many positive changes coming our way. As my body gets flexible, so is my mind. I am more open and flexible to people, circumstances and situations that are coming my way.

Draw Inspiration: My class has people who have been doing it for two months. They are all older than I am and I am amazed by their flexibility. Sometimes, when I can’t do a particular asana well, all I need to do is look around. If others can do it, then so can I. I find myself pushing myself harder. In life, the inspiration is all around us. All we need to do is look around. Every single person we meet can be a source of inspiration to us. And I make a promise to look for inspiration in everyone I meet.

Power of mind: My instructor shows me a particular asana, and my mind says “NO WAY I CAN”T DO IT!!!” I give up even before I can try. Then, I try and remind myself to breath, to persevere, to draw inspiration, and slowly and steadily I succeed. How many times have I given up on a task, or a job that I couldn’t do? If only I could have realized the power of my mind. If only, I could have silenced the voice in my mind that told me I couldn’t do it. The next time, I hear that voice within; I do know how to drive it away!!

Maintaining success: If doing a certain asana is difficult, maintaining the pose for even 20 seconds is tougher. You need focus and concentration. One distraction and you can fall. It’s like that with success too. We reach the top, but how many of us maintain our position. We start our exercise routines, but give them up after a week. Yoga to me is a reminder that not only do we have to work hard at getting there, but harder at staying there.

I am glad I got over my initial intimidations to see Yoga in an all new light. I don’t see it as an hour of self inflicted torture now. I see it as an hour to practice the principles that will help me see my life in a whole new light. I see it as an hour to look within and around for inspiration. I see it as a practice to persevere at situations in real life. I see it as therapy for my body and soul. But most of all, I see it as holding a mirror to my life.

Why me?

Apollo hospital’s board loomed up large, and she asked her driver to stop. She got down and made her way into the hospital. She felt sick. She hated hospitals. They brought back memories which were best stowed away. The reception was abuzz with patients, and their relatives. The antiseptic smell invaded every inch of her being, and she felt her body shudder a bit. She could hear some vague announcements being made, and all over she felt the atmosphere of gloom.

She made her way to the 2nd floor, where the gynaecology department was located. She was there to meet her friend, Dr. Jamuna Gupta. Her daughter had insisted that she had something important to tell her, and that she would meet her at the hospital. Her daughter; Anushka. She smiled. A frown followed. What did she want to discuss in the presence of Dr. Jamuna Gupta?

She waited inside the office, as Dr. Gupta wasn’t in yet. As she looked around, she studied her reflection in the glass top table. At 55, she didn’t look a day over 40. She and Anushka were often referred to as sisters. Today, she had tied her long straight hair in a bun, the way she did when she was pre-occupied. She had been in this exact same office, 30 years back.

“Hi Doctor Gupta, this is my husband Anuj. We are here to discuss the test results.”

“Hello.Yes, Dr. Rane has discussed your case with me.”

“As you know, we have been trying to conceive for the last 5 years now. We are anxious .”

“Unfortunately, I don’t have good news. Your tests have confirmed that there is a problem with both of you. Anuj has a low sperm count, and your ovaries are not supporting the formation of the ovum.”

“So what does that mean?”

“That means, there is a very high chance that you may not be able to conceive.”

The words hit her like a bullet, and she slumped in her chair. Anuj was the first to recover.

“So what are our options doctor?”

“Look, you can try IVF, but Anamika has gone through a lot in the last 5 years with the tests and the hormone injections etc. I fear her body may not be able to take it.

“So does that mean we have to reconcile to the fact that we may never have kids?” Anamika broke down.

“You can keep trying. Or there is another option……”

They left the hospital in silence. Anuj dropped her home, and rushed for a meeting with his clients. It was typical of him to drown himself in work. Anamika remained in her room for the remainder of the day, thinking of how her life had taken a turn for the worse. She remembered all the statements her friends used to make.

“Oh Anamika, you are so good with children. I can only imagine how well you will handle your own.”

“You and Anuj will have such beautiful children. In fact, you must have a baby girl, who will look exactly like you.”

And nothing could be farther from the truth. It pained her to not have a child of her own.

Not a day, went by, when she asked God, “Why me?”

Her in-laws were supportive people, and they never pressurized her. That only made her feel guiltier. What kind of a daughter-in-law was she?

And Anuj? Although the doctor had said, that the problem was with both of them, she knew it was mainly with her. What had she given him in return?

She cried herself to sleep, only to be woken by Anuj with a bowl of soup.

“Darling, you haven’t eaten anything all day.”

“Why me Anuj? Why us? What have we ever done to deserve this?”

“Time will answer that question my love. Tomorrow we are going to Ambar Bal Sanstha.”

“That NGO?”

“Yes, I have already made an appointment to see them.”

“But Adoption….? Are you sure?...I mean…..”

“Sshhh. Let’s just go there tomorrow and see.”

The next morning, they were at the NGO, and were being taken around by the matron –in-charge. Anamika looked around nervously. She wasn’t sure what she was doing there.

“Do you have girls mostly?”

“Well, no, but the boys get adopted very soon.”

She then took them to the cottage which housed the new borns. The room had a dozen babies, all aged between 2 weeks to 3 months. What had they done to deserve being abandoned?

As she made her way to the end of the room, a baby started crying. She looked around, but none of the nurses were in sight. Anuj and the matron too had moved ahead. She gingerly picked the baby up. She would have been less than a month old, had long eyelashes, and big beautiful eyes.
Anamika felt a warm rush through her body, and the baby stopped crying.
The nurse ran into the room, and took the baby from her arms.

“We have named her Anushka. She just came to us 3 days ago. Her mother committed suicide, and left a note along with her. She wanted her to be placed in a loving family. Nowadays most people want boys you see. Who will adopt all these girls?

Anamika felt tears streaming down her eyes, and she ran to find Anuj and the matron.

It took them 6 months of arduous paperwork to ensure that Anushka came home. During those 6 months, none of them slept fitfully. They would keep thinking about Anushka, and wonder how she was doing.

Life changed for Anamika. Both of them doted on Anushka, and as she grew up they told her that she was adopted, and so special for them. And yet , Anamika always had a certain emptiness within her. She would keep worrying about whether her daughter would conceive when she grew up. She didn’t want her to go through what she had gone through, and wanted to protect her.

Anushka grew up to be a bright girl. She was happily married to her batchmate from IIM Bangalore for the last 5 years.

And yet, she had found herself back in this office today. She had been nervous about Anushka conceiving. She would bring up the topic with her, only for it to be avoided, and this had raised her anxiety levels day by day.

Would Anushka face the same problems she had? Would she be forced to go through those traumatic tests, and needle pricking only to learn that nothing was possible?

How would Anuj handle his daughter going through this? Wasn’t it enough that he had seen his wife brave it all?

Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. The old feeling of “Why me” started creeping back into her being.

“Hi Anamika. You are looking lovely as usual. How are you?”

“I’m ok Jamuna. What is this all about?”

“Lets wait for Anushka; she should be here any minute.”

“But, what is this all about? Why are we meeting here, and like this?

“Hi Mom. Hi Jamuna Aunty.”

“Anushka, darling. What is this about?”

“Let me catch my breath first Mom. There is something really important that I want to discuss. Look, you know how you want me to have a baby. But there is something I want to tell you.”

“Jamuna, is there a problem with Anushka? Is she not able to conceive? She is still young; we can do the IVF etc right?”

“Oh relax; there is nothing wrong with Anushka. She is perfectly fine, and can conceive a baby anytime she so wishes.”

“Oh. That’s great news. I am so relieved. You had me scared. So, are you pregnant then?”

“No, mom. I know you want me to conceive, and experience the joys of being pregnant and have a child of my own. But look at me today. I am so successful because, you and Dad decided to adopt me. Had you not done that, where would I have been?”

“I know Anu, but I don’t understand where is this all leading to?”

“Mom, you made a difference to my life, when you picked me up for the first time, and brought me home. I want to do the same to someone else. You gave me more than even my biological mother could have. There is a little girl out there who deserves that too. I will have my own child some day. But my first child, I want to adopt. That’s the reason i wanted Jamuna aunty to be here when I told you this.”

She stood stunned. She never realized she made such an impact on Anushka’s life. She had always thought that Anushka had filled a void in her life, never thinking that she had done the same for her.

Anuj and Rahul walked in carrying a small bundle of pink. And in Rahul’s arms lay a baby exactly like she had seen her daughter.

“Janhavi, meet your grand-mom, and grand-dad. They are the ones responsible for you being here.”

As she held her in her arms, she felt all her tears wash the emptiness away. She had found the answer to the one question she had held in her heart all these years.