My thoughts on the world around me, the people i meet, and the little things that matter!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Why me?
She made her way to the 2nd floor, where the gynaecology department was located. She was there to meet her friend, Dr. Jamuna Gupta. Her daughter had insisted that she had something important to tell her, and that she would meet her at the hospital. Her daughter; Anushka. She smiled. A frown followed. What did she want to discuss in the presence of Dr. Jamuna Gupta?
She waited inside the office, as Dr. Gupta wasn’t in yet. As she looked around, she studied her reflection in the glass top table. At 55, she didn’t look a day over 40. She and Anushka were often referred to as sisters. Today, she had tied her long straight hair in a bun, the way she did when she was pre-occupied. She had been in this exact same office, 30 years back.
“Hi Doctor Gupta, this is my husband Anuj. We are here to discuss the test results.”
“Hello.Yes, Dr. Rane has discussed your case with me.”
“As you know, we have been trying to conceive for the last 5 years now. We are anxious .”
“Unfortunately, I don’t have good news. Your tests have confirmed that there is a problem with both of you. Anuj has a low sperm count, and your ovaries are not supporting the formation of the ovum.”
“So what does that mean?”
“That means, there is a very high chance that you may not be able to conceive.”
The words hit her like a bullet, and she slumped in her chair. Anuj was the first to recover.
“So what are our options doctor?”
“Look, you can try IVF, but Anamika has gone through a lot in the last 5 years with the tests and the hormone injections etc. I fear her body may not be able to take it.
“So does that mean we have to reconcile to the fact that we may never have kids?” Anamika broke down.
“You can keep trying. Or there is another option……”
They left the hospital in silence. Anuj dropped her home, and rushed for a meeting with his clients. It was typical of him to drown himself in work. Anamika remained in her room for the remainder of the day, thinking of how her life had taken a turn for the worse. She remembered all the statements her friends used to make.
“Oh Anamika, you are so good with children. I can only imagine how well you will handle your own.”
“You and Anuj will have such beautiful children. In fact, you must have a baby girl, who will look exactly like you.”
And nothing could be farther from the truth. It pained her to not have a child of her own.
Not a day, went by, when she asked God, “Why me?”
Her in-laws were supportive people, and they never pressurized her. That only made her feel guiltier. What kind of a daughter-in-law was she?
And Anuj? Although the doctor had said, that the problem was with both of them, she knew it was mainly with her. What had she given him in return?
She cried herself to sleep, only to be woken by Anuj with a bowl of soup.
“Darling, you haven’t eaten anything all day.”
“Why me Anuj? Why us? What have we ever done to deserve this?”
“Time will answer that question my love. Tomorrow we are going to Ambar Bal Sanstha.”
“That NGO?”
“Yes, I have already made an appointment to see them.”
“But Adoption….? Are you sure?...I mean…..”
“Sshhh. Let’s just go there tomorrow and see.”
The next morning, they were at the NGO, and were being taken around by the matron –in-charge. Anamika looked around nervously. She wasn’t sure what she was doing there.
“Do you have girls mostly?”
“Well, no, but the boys get adopted very soon.”
She then took them to the cottage which housed the new borns. The room had a dozen babies, all aged between 2 weeks to 3 months. What had they done to deserve being abandoned?
As she made her way to the end of the room, a baby started crying. She looked around, but none of the nurses were in sight. Anuj and the matron too had moved ahead. She gingerly picked the baby up. She would have been less than a month old, had long eyelashes, and big beautiful eyes.
Anamika felt a warm rush through her body, and the baby stopped crying.
The nurse ran into the room, and took the baby from her arms.
“We have named her Anushka. She just came to us 3 days ago. Her mother committed suicide, and left a note along with her. She wanted her to be placed in a loving family. Nowadays most people want boys you see. Who will adopt all these girls?
Anamika felt tears streaming down her eyes, and she ran to find Anuj and the matron.
It took them 6 months of arduous paperwork to ensure that Anushka came home. During those 6 months, none of them slept fitfully. They would keep thinking about Anushka, and wonder how she was doing.
Life changed for Anamika. Both of them doted on Anushka, and as she grew up they told her that she was adopted, and so special for them. And yet , Anamika always had a certain emptiness within her. She would keep worrying about whether her daughter would conceive when she grew up. She didn’t want her to go through what she had gone through, and wanted to protect her.
Anushka grew up to be a bright girl. She was happily married to her batchmate from IIM Bangalore for the last 5 years.
And yet, she had found herself back in this office today. She had been nervous about Anushka conceiving. She would bring up the topic with her, only for it to be avoided, and this had raised her anxiety levels day by day.
Would Anushka face the same problems she had? Would she be forced to go through those traumatic tests, and needle pricking only to learn that nothing was possible?
How would Anuj handle his daughter going through this? Wasn’t it enough that he had seen his wife brave it all?
Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. The old feeling of “Why me” started creeping back into her being.
“Hi Anamika. You are looking lovely as usual. How are you?”
“I’m ok Jamuna. What is this all about?”
“Lets wait for Anushka; she should be here any minute.”
“But, what is this all about? Why are we meeting here, and like this?
“Hi Mom. Hi Jamuna Aunty.”
“Anushka, darling. What is this about?”
“Let me catch my breath first Mom. There is something really important that I want to discuss. Look, you know how you want me to have a baby. But there is something I want to tell you.”
“Jamuna, is there a problem with Anushka? Is she not able to conceive? She is still young; we can do the IVF etc right?”
“Oh relax; there is nothing wrong with Anushka. She is perfectly fine, and can conceive a baby anytime she so wishes.”
“Oh. That’s great news. I am so relieved. You had me scared. So, are you pregnant then?”
“No, mom. I know you want me to conceive, and experience the joys of being pregnant and have a child of my own. But look at me today. I am so successful because, you and Dad decided to adopt me. Had you not done that, where would I have been?”
“I know Anu, but I don’t understand where is this all leading to?”
“Mom, you made a difference to my life, when you picked me up for the first time, and brought me home. I want to do the same to someone else. You gave me more than even my biological mother could have. There is a little girl out there who deserves that too. I will have my own child some day. But my first child, I want to adopt. That’s the reason i wanted Jamuna aunty to be here when I told you this.”
She stood stunned. She never realized she made such an impact on Anushka’s life. She had always thought that Anushka had filled a void in her life, never thinking that she had done the same for her.
Anuj and Rahul walked in carrying a small bundle of pink. And in Rahul’s arms lay a baby exactly like she had seen her daughter.
“Janhavi, meet your grand-mom, and grand-dad. They are the ones responsible for you being here.”
As she held her in her arms, she felt all her tears wash the emptiness away. She had found the answer to the one question she had held in her heart all these years.
Friday, October 15, 2010
On living every moment.....
To change our lives for better or worse
One moment is the difference
Between a smile and a tear.
In a moment, the child comes out of the womb,
In one moment a woman becomes a mother.
In a moment there are ties that bind
And two people become husband and wife.
In a moment those ties are broken,
And people go separate ways..
Is one moment all it takes to change your life ?
One moment ago, I was crying for something I lost.
A moment later, I find another reason to smile.
One moment ago, I was living a fairy tale.
And the next, I crash into a reality as hard as I could.
One moment I had no faith in life,
And the next, I am filled with tremendous hope ahead.
Life changing moments define who we become.
These moments sometimes rudely wake us up..
And sometimes they bring sunshine in our lives.
“Make the most of every moment” they say,
I never really understood what they meant till now..
Today I know what one moment is..
I know that the moment will surely pass by.
But until it does, I shall savour it.
I shall truly live the moment , and make the most of it.
For I know not what the next moment may bring.
When my life is sad, I wont despair,
I will know that this moment shall pass.
And when I’m happy I won’t look down on others,
For I know that this may not last.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
These are a few of my favourite songs….
There’s something so therapeutic about music. It can act as a pick-me-up, boost-me-up, and in short inspire you to do anything you want to do, to be anyone you want to be.
I thought I would put down my top 10 most inspiring and feel good songs. The ones that I hear when I am down in the dumps. The ones I hear if I’m about to climb a mountain, and the ones I hear when I’m happy being just me.
So in no particular order, here goes.
Top of the World-Carpenters: The first ever English song I heard. The first one I ever learnt to sing. And every single time I hear it, I feel like I’m in love; in love with life, with myself, and with everything around me. It truly makes me feel on Top of the World! And no wonder, because this song is all about finding that special someone who makes you feel like life’s worth living. But when you listen to this song, it’s about more than just falling in love with someone. It’s about falling in love with everything the world has to offer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mq5pLi0huhw
I have a dream- Abba: If you see the wonders of a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail. These words from the song have stuck with me. When faced with an interview, or any challenge to face, I always listen to this song. And I know everything is alright, no matter what the outcome. This song has such a calming effect on me too, and if I’m worried about something, I just listen to this and I know that all is well!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2YOGfBFAbs
Aint no mountain high enough-Marvin Gaye and Tammi Tarelle:
This song was made popular by the movie “Step-Mom” and was also used in the movie “Sister Act”. A fun sing-along song, with great lyrics, it holds the promise of someone being there for you no matter what. It makes you want to be there for your loved ones. It makes me feel as though there aren’t any obstacles large enough to keep me down. It reminds me of all my friends and family who are just a phone call away. One sing-a- long session with this song, and bring it on world!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGBXIK5TZjs
I will survive- Gloria Gaynor: If there is a song that’s the perfect antidote for heartbreak, this is it. This song is about picking up the pieces of your heart, and not waiting for someone to patch them up. “As long as I know how to love, I know I’ll stay alive.” And that’s what keeps me going on days when I’m down and out, and heartbroken with life. This is also my favourite karaoke number, and I belt this out at least once in a karaoke party. Try it, you will more than survive!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLHY0Pqeyzw
I’m Alive-Celine Dion: I get wings to fly…I’m alive. The rhythm and the beat of this song truly makes me feel alive. Listening to this song makes me feel lucky to be alive. Funnily, as I listen to this song, I find myself counting my blessings, and my problems seem so insignificant. Dance to this song, and feel every word of the lyrics, you will more than feel alive!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SevA6D55XU
Hero-Mariah Carey: My most favourite song, because it salutes the hero within. “You don’t have to be afraid of what you are” When faced with difficulties, we so often forget the reservoir of strength that we have within us. This song reminds me that I am far stronger and more capable than I give myself credit for. It tells me, yes I have friends to stand by me, but ultimately I have to reach within, and tap my inner strength. Close your eyes, listen to this song, reach deep into your soul, and you will have all the answers you need.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVhrIfaPKxw
The climb-Miley Cyrus: I’m not a Miley Cyrus fan, but I loved this song instantly. The lyrics were so bang on.
There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you are gonna have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what’s waiting on the other side
It's the climb
Cheers to the climb!! Who cares what’s waiting on the other side. Isn’t the journey the reward?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NG2zyeVRcbs
Climb every mountain-Sound of Music: An unlikely song to find a place in your playlist. This track is from the Sound of music. It’s not a peppy fun track, but the opera voice and the music coupled with the lyrics are a great combination. Listen to this just before you take a leap of faith; embark on a new venture, or when the voices of doubt ring in your head. Climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow, till you find your dream. Do I need to say more?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cr_8cX-_1-M
Badal pe paaon hain- Chak De: This is the song to blast on your i-pod, and go for a jog. This is about celebrating your victory, and feeling the glory of success. So you have given it your best shot, and now it’s time to soak in the success. Enjoy the feeling, and feel your feet in the clouds!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXmWxrTgXUY
Lakshya Title Song:
Haan yahi rasta hain tera, tune ab jaana hain
Haan, yahi sapna hain tera, tune pehchaana hain
Tujhe ab yeh dikhaana hain.
Roke tujhko andhiyan, ya zameen aur aasmaan,
Paye ja jo lakshya hain tera
Lakshya toh har haal mein paana hain
We have all had moments when we have known, yes this is what my heart desires. This is my lakshya and I have to get it. This song truly captures these emotions so well. It’s about going after what you want, despite the imminent difficulties ahead. Listen to it, when you’re tired, and your goal feels out of reach. It will put you in touch with your lakshya once again!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDsVhOtMCec
So that wraps up my list of ten most favourite pick-me –up songs. Do write in with the songs that make your world go round, listen to some of the ones which I’ve recommended, and let me know how you felt. Happy listening!!
Saturday, July 31, 2010
You do? I don’t!
As I spoke to her I realized that here was one more guy running away from commitment, marriage and the works. And was he afraid? Maybe, but he just wanted to do his own thing, travel whenever he felt like it, write a book, not compromise on his Sunday squash, and hold on to his boys night outs.
Another friend met someone who is also afraid of commitment. He likes to think of himself as the reckless, free spirited guy, in the market for a fling but not for the long haul. But that doesn’t stop him from flirting with her, while she always knows at the back of her mind that he will never commit.
But as I heard my friends tell me about these men, I found myself wondering why some men are afraid of commitment.
Do they want to keep their options open? Maybe it isn’t easy being a one woman guy, and not everyone can resist the temptation of cheating. I have even heard some men say, that they didn’t want to settle for less before they had seen what’s out there.
Do they think they will have to give up their freedom? Giving minute by minute updates of their whereabouts isn’t easy unless it’s on Facebook.
They love their boy gang too much? Nor do they want to give up on their frequent boys’ nights out. Being in a serious relationship sometimes does cut down on the time you have for your other friends.
They love themselves too much? Like my friend’s boyfriend who has too many of his own unfinished agendas in his schedule to fit in time for love.
The more I thought about the above reasons; it was as if a bulb lit in my head. This is not the way I would want my man to feel. That I nag him, keep him away from his boys’ nights out, and to top it all, he thinks he can do better by waiting? That’s not the kind of relationship I would wish for myself or any of my friends.
When two people are meant to be, and are in complete harmony with each other, the issue of commitment doesn’t arise. Why would you argue about whether to commit, when you want to spend the rest of your life together? And if you are arguing, you clearly want different things out of life. In which case, you should part ways.
I am tempted to think of commitment phobia as an excuse that guys give when they don’t really love you. So if your guy says he can’t commit, send him roses a la Munnabhai, wish him the best in life, and move on girl!
Send him love, so that when he meets his someone special later in life, he will commit. But take him out of your life, like you would a piece of furniture that doesn’t go with the whole décor. It may seem like a comfortable sofa, but it just doesn’t complete the big picture that you want.
And for my girlfriends, who are the most beautiful women I know, don’t lose hope. Remember that Mr. Right is waiting for you somewhere down the road. And the journey to him is fraught with meeting many Mr. Wrongs! Believe me, he will be worth the wait.
And if you are a guy who is reading this, and are genuinely commitment phobic, we will pray for you to recover soon!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
And she was left behind......
She went back to that fateful day. It had been a routine for the last year. No matter how much she tried, she couldn’t stop herself from the flashback that replayed in her mind. Could she have done anything to prevent it?
Would she have believed somebody if they had told her how the day was to turn out? She might have laughed at the idea? Or maybe cried?
What if she hadn’t left the room just then? What if she had taken better care? But there were no answers. The emptiness continued to eat her everyday.
She had wept beside him not wanting to be left behind. They had been inseparable all these years. Couldn’t he have taken her too?
She remembered how she had broken the news to her daughter, and how they had taken turns in being strong. All they had was each other now.
Not a day went by when she questioned him. Why did you leave me behind? Why didn’t you take me too?
She remembered how his laughter would resound in the house, and how she kept expecting him to wake up and announce that he was only joking.
As they had taken the last remains of his body, her daughter had cried, “We lost the best man in the whole world Mom, we lost him.”
She was shaken out of her reverie by the clock chiming nine. It was time to leave.
As had become her daily conversation routine with him, she stood in front of his photograph.” How are you? Do you think of me often? How could you leave me behind? Why? Why? “And she sobbed uncontrollably.
Her body was shivering involuntarily, and she didn’t know what to do. Suddenly, she felt surging warmth through her entire being. She could smell his perfume, and she had the distinct feeling of being held.
She felt her tears dry up, and a renewed strength within. Her daughter called her while she was in the cab. “Mom, I miss him.” And as she consoled her daughter, she heard a voice in her heart which said. “I left you behind for her my dear, and I miss you too”
Epilogue:
My uncle passed away this day last year due to a sudden heart attack, and I have countless memories of him, his laughter, and his ever helpful ways. He was just short of his 60th birthday. His smile was infectious, and he had love in his heart for everyone. Rarely seen angry, he was the epitome of positivity. An IIT Mumbai alumnus, he was not just brainy but extremely business savvy as well. I hadn’t spoken to him for a long time before he passed away. I kept thinking I would do it, and the day never came. I still regret that. So this one’s for you Raju Kaka. You are remembered and truly missed. And for Baby Atya and Aparna, remember that he’s watching over both you and is extremely proud!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
The B.E.S.T bus ride ever!!!
I paced outside my Prabhadevi office, close to panicking. My office boy jumped to my rescue by telling me about 3 buses which I could take. After years of travelling either by car or taxis, I was going to travel by bus.
I tried to give myself a pep talk. My office boy had told me that bus no. 110 stopped right outside my house, and I was determined to catch it. Just as I was crossing the road and approaching the bus-stop, I saw it pass by. I had missed it by a whisker!
What should I do? I felt determined to wait. After about ten minutes, two buses came which went to Wadala but they would drop me a little far from my house. I let them go, determined to wait for Bus No. 110. I waited, and waited, and grew impatient.
I thought I could be smart and look for a taxi while waiting for the bus. There were a few taxis, but nobody was willing to go to Wadala. Was everybody was conspiring against me? Some people were lucky enough to get taxis. Why not me?
Should I hitch a ride? I had done that in college days, but wasn’t so sure now. Happy people in their chauffer driven cars passed me by. Ask them for a lift? I felt as though they were laughing at me, or pitying me. Was it my imagination? And wasn’t I one of those people till yesterday?
Pray for bus no. 110. I did and then I saw it. Bus No. 110. My prayers were answered! I was ready to get in. The bus refused to show any chances of slowing down. I started waving frantically. Stop! Stop! It ruthlessly sped by. How could this happen to me? A fellow passenger sympathized with me. “It was full; you see that’s why it didn’t stop.” I should have prayed for the bus to stop as well. I didn’t anticipate god’s technicalities.
I had spent half an hour at the bus-stop and my feet hurt. I was frustrated and angry with the taxi drivers. Why had I let my husband take the car today?
It wasn’t raining but I suddenly felt two giant rain drops on my head, and looked up. I was amazed by the greenery that I saw. I was outside Rabindra Natya Mandir in Prabhadevi, and the lush green trees on either side formed a wonderful canopy on the entire road. I had been on this road so many times before, and yet had never noticed it.
There was something about looking at the natural green umbrella above me which calmed me down, and brought things in perspective. It was just a bus journey for a day. And I was getting to enjoy the wonderful weather and see things I hadn’t noticed before.
As if the universe were waiting for me to reach this realization, an empty bus going to Wadala came. As I sat inside it reminded me of my school bus. I felt like a child again.
From the bus, I got a bird’s eye view of all the shops, the people walking by. A small boy trying a raincoat, girls giggling and bargaining for earrings. I could smell the hot samosas as I passed by a local stall. Was this what I missed when I travel in my stuck-up air conditioned car? I got a strange kick from the fact that the bus was the king of the road. Nobody dared come in its way, as we zoomed past every single car on the road.
My fifteen minute walk home from the bus-stop was made fun when a friend from Pune called, and we merrily chatted through it. We talked about the days when we would scrimp and save, travel by bus, train, and sometimes even walk. We never complained. In fact we would enjoy the journey. I suddenly didn’t miss my car anymore.
The next day I was back to commuting in my car. The taxi strike too had ended. As I made my way to office, I saw the many crowded bus-stops. Only this time I wasn’t sure who was laughing at whom!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Storm in a tea-cup
He had a small place; a platform where he made his tea, and strained it with a cloth which would have been washed centuries ago. Frames of Ganpati and Sai Baba adorned a shelf on the wall. With a bald pate, and a forever question mark on his face, he seemed to know each patron’s taste in tea and cigarettes. I never heard him speak a word.
I soon started bumping into other regulars. Two of them intrigued me as they always seemed to discuss grand plans loudly.
I gathered that they were from the United Bank, and the bank was rumored to shut down. Ashok and Arvind seemed clones of each other, dressed in striped shirts and ties. They walked in always talking loudly, and demanded tea from him by snapping their fingers. When leaving, they would throw the money on his tea counter. Ashok was particularly pompous. I wondered whether he was some big shot in the bank.
On one particularly hot day in May, Ashok looked agitated.
“What if our bank shuts down? The rumours are very strong. We have to do something”
“Look Ashok, I told you, we must try and get a job in Royal Bank. That’s our only bet. I heard that there was one position vacant for a Sales RM.”
“I know the Branch head of Royal Bank comes here everyday for tea at 5. It’s almost 5. Let’s wait for him.”
Minutes ticked by, and both paced around nervously. Half an hour later, there was no sign of him.
“I have a friend who knows someone in Royal Bank. Let me try calling him.”
Ten calls and many cigarettes later, Ashok was frustrated, and drained with sweat.
Not to be outdone, he punching some keys on his phone. “I am going to surf the Royal Bank website to see if there are openings on it.”
10 minutes later, Ashok was ready to throw his phone. “Nothing at all on the website.”
A pretty girl walked in. She was wearing the uniform of the Royal Bank. Although I hadn’t seen her before, Kantibhai seemed to know her.
Ashok nudged his friend; “Let’s sweet-talk her. I think I have seen her smoke here before.”
From a distance I saw Ashok, his perspiration stain around the armhole widening, walk towards the girl. My ears strained to hear what they were talking. I saw Ashok pull out a cigarette. I had only momentarily turned to Kantibhai for a refill, when I heard a resounding slap followed by the clickety clack of high heels.
Kantibhai was trying very hard to hide his laughter. I was more concerned about Ashok's next move.
Ashok looked around to see who had seen the incident. When he saw that it was only Kantibhai and me, he slumped on the nearby bench with a sullen face.
He snapped his fingers. Kantibhai brought him a tea, and I could see he had still not given up.
As Ashok got up, he threw the money for the tea on the counter, and suddenly stopped.
“Kantibhai, maybe you can tell me about that vacancy in Royal Bank” He burst out laughing.
“What a fool I am to ask you. Stupid chai-wallah.” I couldn’t believe my ears.
Kantibhai looked at him with a broad smile on his face. Did he not understand that Ashok was insulting him?
“Arre Sir, you should have asked me before. The Sales RM position is no longer vacant. It has been given to the Branch manager’s wife’s brother. As for the money for the tea, consider it a treat from my end. You will need to save every penny.”
Two months later, I joined Royal Bank as a junior officer.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
A poem to my child...
You came and wiped away my tears often.
Now you’re all grown up to face the world.
And I wonder what you think of me.
Do you wonder why I brought you up alone?
Do you wonder if I made the right choice?
Do you blame me for life’s difficult moments?
Do you understand why I chose to move on?
I know the questions which came in your mind,
You didn’t ask them for they would make me cry.
I knew you cried when I wasn’t looking.
But in front of me didn’t let out a sigh.
You grew much faster for your age,
Did I forget often that you were just a child?
Was I harsh with you so many times?
Did I fail you when I couldn’t handle my rage?
Did you feel the love that I had for you?
Did you know you were the reason for me walking strong?
Did you know that in moments of despair,
You were to me a breath of fresh air!
I tried to be both Dad and Mom.
Sometimes, I forgot to be both.
Yet, you reminded me always of who I was.
To keep fighting without a pause.
I want to see the world through your eyes now.
I want to know if there was anything I did right?
Most of all, I want to ask you;
Do you still love me despite all my faults?
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
The Ugly Duckling
The auditorium was packed. Eager family members sat on one side,while the students sat on the other. Maroon and gold colours shared centrestage with the shining trophies on display. As the lights dimmed, all eyes were on the stage. It was the annual convocation day of the Indian Institute of Management. She sat in the audience glued to her seat in the section marked for the family members. As the convocation began, she clapped for student after student, and yet her eyes waited for someone else.
“And now, the Gold medal for outstanding contribution by a faculty member goes to Mr. Prakash Doshi.”
She sprang to her feet, and clapped with all her might. To her surprise, she found she wasn’t the only one standing. Every person in the auditorium was sharing her sentiment.
Through her moist eyes, she saw him accept the award and make his way to the lectern.
“I feel humbled by your support and love. Thank You. And yet standing here today, I want to tell you a story. It’s about the ugly duckling.”
She felt her tears fall like they had a mind of their own. And as she thought about the Ugly duckling, she found herself remembering those defining days in her life.
Her family was a family of University Toppers. And yet she was the black sheep. She excelled at studies, but wasn’t too interested in them. She was an all rounder, and was good at extra-curriculars. Toeing the family line, she took science after her tenth. And soon after, she found herself less interested in Science, and more interested in pursuing Hotel Management after 12th. That had a separate exam, and she was determined to make it.
She still remembered the day she received her HSC result. 62.5%; the lowest in the Doshi family history. She was shocked to see her low marks, and knew she had let her father down. How could she look him in the eye? What would he say? Days passed by, and she knew she had to study for the Hotel Management exam, and yet she couldn’t get over her failure. She avoided her father studiously.
And then, he had called her. Her heart skipped a beat, and she waited in anticipation of the dressing down she would get.
“Have you heard about the story of the ugly duckling? You, my darling daughter are that ugly duckling who will transform soon into a beautiful swan. Have faith in yourself, and give your best in whatever you want to do!!”
The fairy tale heard as a child seemed more relevant to her than ever, and she studied for the Hotel Management entrance with a vengeance to prove herself to the world. She had achieved her goal of studying at IHM, Mumbai, and graduated with honors.
Many years later, her father as VP in a large MNC was going through a rough patch. He refused to compromise on his principles, and chose to quit with dignity.
He did so, without a job in hand. She would see him often quietly sitting at home, trying to search for a job. He also did a few consultancy assignments, but nothing permanent was coming his way. She was at a loss for words. What could she say to her father; a man who is so brilliant, and was going through this for no fault of his? What would make him regain his faith in himself?
The Ugly duckling story! Of course! She reminded him; that he too was like that ugly duckling. It was just a matter of time before he blossomed into a lovely swan.
His face had lit up, and for the first time she had seen tears in his eyes. Not of sadness, not of joy, but of pride.
And today, as she stood there watching him receive the award; she felt the same tears of pride. His deep voice, choked with emotion filled the auditorium.
“Just like the ugly duckling, we all go through times in our lives, when we lose faith in our identity, and ourselves. Its then that we need someone to remind us, that the ugly duckling always transforms into a beautiful swan. I am lucky I had my daughter to remind me.”
And as she saw him walk off the stage to thundering applause yet again, she knew which fairy tale she would be telling her children some day.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Seabiscuit: 3 men, a broken-down horse, and hell, everything’s possible!
The movie unfolds seamlessly from their individual stories to the way they meet, and finally find a common goal to work towards.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
I have spent the whole of last year trying to figure the answers to that.
That would be simpler, and it would ensure that you read this till the end.
After procrastinating for a year, why am I finally starting this blog today?
Because my creative writing teacher told me it was the only way to get published? No, but what she did tell me is, that it’s a wonderful way to hone my writing skills, and express myself.
I’m also hoping that in some way it can warm your hearts, tickle you to laughter, move you to tears (only sometimes).
“Sunshine in a box” is a part of me. It is an extension of my thoughts. Like most people, I don’t always have “sunshine” thoughts. But when I write them down, I instantly feel better.
Why “Sunshine in a Box”? Well because, it’s my blog and I decide what to call it. Kidding again.
I have been writing for over a year now, and mailing it out to a group of friends who love reading my articles (Or so they say). The one thing common in their feedback is “Wow, I felt good after reading that” and “Thanks, you made my day.” So my writing was therapeutic in 2 ways. I felt so good putting my thoughts down, and when I read how it made others feel, I felt even better. So “Sunshine in a box” it was.
Writing to me, is like my daily dose of sunshine. So I bring to you my stories, both true and inspired. Some are about the things I go through, some about the stuff I read, some about things I passionately believe in. What’s common to all of them is that they leave me feeling like I’ve just stepped into the sun, after a long stormy night. I hope they do the same for you too!
Enjoy your sunshine in a box!